In memory of this dear 8 year old angel Leiby Kletzy, I decided to make this my topic today.
Trust no one! Some people seem to think that we can trust our own culture and community with our kids. A killer has no sense of culture or identification or even a conscience. Your next door neighbor, the person you borrow sugar from time to time, can be a killer. This little boy should not have trusted this man or even asked him for help. He should've walked up to an officer. At least this is what I taught my child to do if ever this were to happen to him. However, I'm assuming (not stating) that because he was of Jewish decent the boy felt comfortable enough to ask him for help. I understand. I will be the devils advocate for a second. I can see why this little boy trusted him. However, he was old enough to learn not to trust anyone Jewish or not. It pains me how this could've been avoided.
We want so much to believe that our community has our back. Hispanics support Hispanics! Blacks support Blacks! Jewish support Jewish! Big misconception! Disagree with me here! That's what this blog is for. Bring it on! This is real talk here! As the Latin saying goes "no tengo pelo en la lengua" which means in English "I have no hair in my tongue" so I will speak how I think and feel. Just because you live in a tightly knit community doesn't mean you're safe. In my neighborhood, I see 6 year old boys walking by themselves to the store or with their 4 year sibling because there are 2 synagogues on each corner. So what! Does that mean they are safe? I don't. Not with the recent molester that was walking around these parts 2 weeks ago. I even see them at 10pm at night walking around by themselves. I praise independence but really?
I hate when change occurs after a devastating event. Caylee's law might be put into affect soon but this darling angel had to be murdered first so that parents can be held accountable and be charged a second degree crime if they don't report their child missing within 24 hours. Really? This should've been a law a long time ago. Now she may get a book deal. I just don't comprehend this phenomenon.
Listen! Make sure your child knows how to scream "FIRE" or "RAPE" when under distress. Make them learn your telephone number by heart. Teach them to run for their lives to an officer if approached by ANY stranger. Stranger meaning someone you have never seen in your life. Cannot be based on culture. You hear me! Your kids should not base the significance of "STRANGER" having to do with culture. I know all of you understand. "He's Hispanic so I can trust him" or "Oh..he's Jewish so I can trust him." NO! Parents wake up!
YOUR BEST FRIEND CAN BE A MURDERER!
This can turn into a very controversial subject I know. It's just another murder of a child. This shouldn't turn into a culture thing or a community thing I know. However, I want to discuss facts here. I want to throw this discussion out there because I want my feelings to be heard and I have the forum for it. This event affects everyone with kids and it hits home hard.
I would love to hear your comments. Please agree or disagree I don't care. The point is our kids will be much safer if we understand the simple concept of "TRUST NO ONE". Not even your own kind!
This is real talk!
"Shema" Prayer for Children at Bedtime:
V'a-hav-ta eit A-do-nai E-lo-he-cha, B'chawl l'va-v'cha, u-v'chawl naf-sh'cha, u-v'chawl m'o-de-cha. V'ha-yu ha-d'va-rim ha-ei-leh, A-sher a-no-chi m'tsa-v'cha ha-yom, al l'va-ve-cha. V'shi-nan-tam l'-va-ne-cha, v'di-bar-ta bam, b'shiv-t'cha b'vei-te-cha, uv-lech-t'cha va-de-rech,u-v'shawch-b'cha uv-ku-me-cha. Uk-shar-tam l'ot al ya-de-cha, v'ha-yu l'to-ta-fot bein ei-ne-cha. Uch-tav-tam, al m'zu-zot bei-te-cha, u-vish-a-re-cha.
God bless you little one!
7.13.2011
Put Your Mask On First! Go Find Yourself!
We've all heard this warning when we get on a plane and the Flight Attendant (who we all ignore BTW) is giving us instructions on what to do if ever a case of an emergency. "Put your mask on first" so that way we will be able to breathe, function and stay alert to help our children or anyone else for that matter in case the airplane were to ever drop altitude. However, I must admit everytime I hear those words I think more about life, myself and what I'm doing to function and carry on positively so that others can benefit from my stability, positive attitude and behavior. The answer is I don't think we do enough for ourselves. I didn't know that we needed to put our mask on first every single day of our lives. For some people it's easy. They go about their lives doing what makes them happy not caring about the world as if there is no tomorrow. They live selfishly, spend money they don't have, deceive and treat people badly. I'm not talking about that kind of life. I speak more of taking care of ourselves first emotionally and physically. We must do this or we will not be happy ever! I don't use the word "ever" loosely either. You can be married, have a beautiful house with kids and a dog and still be unhappy because you are merely playing a role in a very long movie.
"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask." - Jim Morrison (Thank you Alex!)
This is important! I always thought that if we give, give and give to others that the end result would be extreme happiness. It never even dawned on me that in the process of giving we had to make sure we give to ourselves as well. We come across individuals every day who take advantage of this and I've been a victim. I'm glad though because it helped me understand that giving is irrelevant and meaningless if we are not feeding and nourishing our souls first.
Nourish the soul! Do a little soul searching! Face your inmost self with courage and be determined to bring out your every ulterior thought, emotion and motive to light. Once you've done that and you see yourself for who you really are you can move forward. But you know what's the most important part in doing this. The people that took advantage of you, abused you mentally, took you for granted will not be able to ever do so again. Trust me!
Putting your mask on first means to me focusing on YOU and finding yourself. Taking time to enjoy YOU so that your kids and family can see a brighter and happier YOU. Some people go through their entire lives living according to others expectations. I'm a MOM so does that mean I can't take time for myself, leave my son with the sitter and take a long walk on the beach by myself? Am I a bad mother if I go on vacation without my son? The point is if I DON'T do these things than I WILL NOT be an effective and emotionally healthy mom for my kid. You don't have to go to a therapist for them to tell you what's wrong with you. I'm telling you what's wrong with you if you find yourself having everything and still unhappy.
I have some great books to share with you that I have read and has helped me in more ways than one. Reading the following books unleashed in me wonderful human behaviors that I've been able to use in love, my career and with my kid. It will change your life as well for the better.
1) Become a Better You - Joel Osteen
2) The Five Love Languages - Gary Chapman
3) The Five Love Languages of Children - Gary Chapman
3) The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
4) How to Win friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
5) The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell
6) Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
All this may be a little deep for some people but I write it as I see it. When I wake up with a thought or a feeling I write about it because I know there is someone out there that has experienced and is experiencing this feeling. I leave you with this quote:
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer."
~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
This is real talk!
Chat with you soon.
"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask." - Jim Morrison (Thank you Alex!)
This is important! I always thought that if we give, give and give to others that the end result would be extreme happiness. It never even dawned on me that in the process of giving we had to make sure we give to ourselves as well. We come across individuals every day who take advantage of this and I've been a victim. I'm glad though because it helped me understand that giving is irrelevant and meaningless if we are not feeding and nourishing our souls first.
Nourish the soul! Do a little soul searching! Face your inmost self with courage and be determined to bring out your every ulterior thought, emotion and motive to light. Once you've done that and you see yourself for who you really are you can move forward. But you know what's the most important part in doing this. The people that took advantage of you, abused you mentally, took you for granted will not be able to ever do so again. Trust me!
Putting your mask on first means to me focusing on YOU and finding yourself. Taking time to enjoy YOU so that your kids and family can see a brighter and happier YOU. Some people go through their entire lives living according to others expectations. I'm a MOM so does that mean I can't take time for myself, leave my son with the sitter and take a long walk on the beach by myself? Am I a bad mother if I go on vacation without my son? The point is if I DON'T do these things than I WILL NOT be an effective and emotionally healthy mom for my kid. You don't have to go to a therapist for them to tell you what's wrong with you. I'm telling you what's wrong with you if you find yourself having everything and still unhappy.
I have some great books to share with you that I have read and has helped me in more ways than one. Reading the following books unleashed in me wonderful human behaviors that I've been able to use in love, my career and with my kid. It will change your life as well for the better.
1) Become a Better You - Joel Osteen
2) The Five Love Languages - Gary Chapman
3) The Five Love Languages of Children - Gary Chapman
3) The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
4) How to Win friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
5) The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell
6) Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
All this may be a little deep for some people but I write it as I see it. When I wake up with a thought or a feeling I write about it because I know there is someone out there that has experienced and is experiencing this feeling. I leave you with this quote:
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer."
~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
This is real talk!
Chat with you soon.
7.01.2011
Live Beat Dads! Some Moms Should be Ashamed!
For the past two weeks I've been questioning many of my male friends about being single, their children, life, etc. All of them had one thing in common; not enough time with their children. I've had my own drama in the past with my ex-husband and his children so of course I was intrigued. They are all very good men with good jobs and all they want to do is spend time with their children. However, what is stopping them from doing so? The ex! That's right! Some women should be ashamed of themselves because what happens between you and your ex should stay that way. Women have been using their children as chess pieces in order to get back at their ex. Shame on you! Women have been saying time and time again how there are dead beat Dads out there and when men finally step up to claim their status as father the scorn of some women do not allow this to happen.
Why do women use their children and make them suffer not allowing them to see DAD on a regular basis? What you don't realize is that you are distroying your children pychologically by allowing them to think that DAD does not want to be there. You are lying to them saying that DAD doesn't love you anymore because he chose HER instead of US. If DAD really loved you he wouldn't have forgotten this or that. Granted, I know there are some dead beat Dads out there that deserve the title but not every separation that occurs in the household is a result of something he did. Nevertheless, because the courts favor the mother in most Child Custody cases it's always the man on trial. In fact, more women abuse the system now than ever before. It's mind blowing how Judges do not catch on.
There is also the case of moving the children to another state away from their father. After a divorce there is always that slight possibility of someone remarrying. I understand that you want to move on with your life but you have children now so you have to consider how far away you are moving away from your kids father. You must leave all selfishness behind and think about the long term affects of your children taking away their DAD or vice versa. But what angers me the most is when WOMEN purposely make it almost impossible for the children to have a good relationship with their Dads because of their scorn, jealousy and hatred towards their ex. Whether he was unfaithful, disrespectful, or horrible to you in the marriage or relationship is irrelevant when it comes to your kids. Your kids have nothing to do with it. What women don't realize is they will hate their Dad for what you did NOW but in the long term when they find out the truth they will hate you ALWAYS.
I used to think it was the lack of education of some people and where they lived that determined these actions. Yeah I know! I was wrong and I admit it. I find that the more educated a scorned woman is about the court system and police procedures the worse it can be for a man trying to see his kids. It's all very sad and the worst part about this, as much as you try to move on with your life after a divorce or separation and you have kids with a scorned partner it's so hard to let a great person into your life because of the drama you have in yours.
There are so many people dealing with this so if you have any comments to share I would love to hear them.
This is REAL TALK!
Why do women use their children and make them suffer not allowing them to see DAD on a regular basis? What you don't realize is that you are distroying your children pychologically by allowing them to think that DAD does not want to be there. You are lying to them saying that DAD doesn't love you anymore because he chose HER instead of US. If DAD really loved you he wouldn't have forgotten this or that. Granted, I know there are some dead beat Dads out there that deserve the title but not every separation that occurs in the household is a result of something he did. Nevertheless, because the courts favor the mother in most Child Custody cases it's always the man on trial. In fact, more women abuse the system now than ever before. It's mind blowing how Judges do not catch on.
There is also the case of moving the children to another state away from their father. After a divorce there is always that slight possibility of someone remarrying. I understand that you want to move on with your life but you have children now so you have to consider how far away you are moving away from your kids father. You must leave all selfishness behind and think about the long term affects of your children taking away their DAD or vice versa. But what angers me the most is when WOMEN purposely make it almost impossible for the children to have a good relationship with their Dads because of their scorn, jealousy and hatred towards their ex. Whether he was unfaithful, disrespectful, or horrible to you in the marriage or relationship is irrelevant when it comes to your kids. Your kids have nothing to do with it. What women don't realize is they will hate their Dad for what you did NOW but in the long term when they find out the truth they will hate you ALWAYS.
I used to think it was the lack of education of some people and where they lived that determined these actions. Yeah I know! I was wrong and I admit it. I find that the more educated a scorned woman is about the court system and police procedures the worse it can be for a man trying to see his kids. It's all very sad and the worst part about this, as much as you try to move on with your life after a divorce or separation and you have kids with a scorned partner it's so hard to let a great person into your life because of the drama you have in yours.
There are so many people dealing with this so if you have any comments to share I would love to hear them.
This is REAL TALK!
6.25.2011
Same Sex Marriage Bill! Until Death Do Us Part! Deal With It!
I'm not going to pretend that I know much about Politics because I don't. To be honest, I'm not really interested and could care less about many issues but living in NY city one has to care and pay attention to many things. What people don't understand is that this bill, in my view, not only takes us one step closer to unity and acceptance but it helps the city financially as well. I would think with this new bill set in place it allows couples who get married a place to celebrate their wedding, anniversaries, etc in New York. Think about it? How much does it cost to go to City Hall and obtain a marriage certificate. The cost for getting married in New York is approximately $40.00 - $50.00 in most areas of the state. On average, US couples spend $24,066 for their wedding. However, the majority of couples spend between $18,050 and $30,083. Don't you think NY will benefit greatly? I do.
I hear many say it's disgusting, where has this world come to? OMG...what's next? What are we talking about? It's just one more step to equality for all of us. It's one more step to acceptance. It's an opportunity to show our kids that each person is a human being and that we all deserve to live as we choose as long as we are living a decent life with good morals and are contributing in a positive way to our community. What we do in our bedrooms is so irrelevant when you look at the big picture. But most of all loving and accepting each other for who we are is such a rewarding experience. Hypothetical Question: If you were about to get hit by a car and it so happens that the Gay bartender you were hating on 5 minutes prior pulls you back and saves your life would you think differently? Would your views change about this particular person?
Some people lie on their death bed wishing they had lived a different life, treated people better, gave more, etc. Why does it take the fear of death for us to live better lives and think differently and feel regret? What does it cost us to live positively loving everyone that crosses our path. There are no accidents.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion and yes we do have free speech but that doesn't mean we have to see your opinions, listen to your venom and smell your hate. Negative energy is such a waste of time and we can smell you a mile away.
I have a beautiful 8 year old son and if he grows up and decides that men are his cup of tea than so be it. All I can do is love him and support him in whatever he decides to do with his life. I understand that there are many Christians out there who preach that God doesn't approve. Well God disapproves divorce and men and women go through it every day. Try every second? That's also financially advantageous to us. How much does it cost to get a divorce decree in this state. I spent about $400. For some marriages comes divorce. I'm thinking that this bill was passed MAINLY because of these statistics. I could be wrong but if I was working for the government and I was trying to find ways to make money for the city this would surely be one way. PASSING THE SAME SEX MARRIAGE BILL!
Would love to hear what you have to say!
I hear many say it's disgusting, where has this world come to? OMG...what's next? What are we talking about? It's just one more step to equality for all of us. It's one more step to acceptance. It's an opportunity to show our kids that each person is a human being and that we all deserve to live as we choose as long as we are living a decent life with good morals and are contributing in a positive way to our community. What we do in our bedrooms is so irrelevant when you look at the big picture. But most of all loving and accepting each other for who we are is such a rewarding experience. Hypothetical Question: If you were about to get hit by a car and it so happens that the Gay bartender you were hating on 5 minutes prior pulls you back and saves your life would you think differently? Would your views change about this particular person?
Some people lie on their death bed wishing they had lived a different life, treated people better, gave more, etc. Why does it take the fear of death for us to live better lives and think differently and feel regret? What does it cost us to live positively loving everyone that crosses our path. There are no accidents.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion and yes we do have free speech but that doesn't mean we have to see your opinions, listen to your venom and smell your hate. Negative energy is such a waste of time and we can smell you a mile away.
I have a beautiful 8 year old son and if he grows up and decides that men are his cup of tea than so be it. All I can do is love him and support him in whatever he decides to do with his life. I understand that there are many Christians out there who preach that God doesn't approve. Well God disapproves divorce and men and women go through it every day. Try every second? That's also financially advantageous to us. How much does it cost to get a divorce decree in this state. I spent about $400. For some marriages comes divorce. I'm thinking that this bill was passed MAINLY because of these statistics. I could be wrong but if I was working for the government and I was trying to find ways to make money for the city this would surely be one way. PASSING THE SAME SEX MARRIAGE BILL!
Would love to hear what you have to say!
5.24.2011
The Sacrifices We Make for Our Children
I woke up this morning and thought how much my life has changed. One grows mentally every day as a person, parent, daughter, sister, friend, etc. I started thinking how different my life is now as opposed to how it was 2-3 years ago. You think if you work all day and bring in that money that you will be fine and your kids will be taken care of. It's actually not like that at all. 2 -3 years ago I found myself outside of my home working, traveling frequently, stressed out and finding that I had absolutely no time for anything else. So what does that do for my child? I'm a single mother so I have to do this right? Well...being a single mother is hard enough so why would I leave my child alone all of the time without having his mother by his side helping him with his homework, his tests, his issues, etc? Because someone has to make the money right? I guess. I realized that making money is one thing but if your job is taking you away from your child than something has to change. We are always going to be away from our children while we work but it's the choice of job that we choose that determines how much time away we are from them.
I decided to leave it all a year ago to start my own one man show. Very, very difficult. Money doesn't come in as it used to. Bills aren't paid fast enough. Shopping doesn't exist and the luxuries are gone. But you know what? I have more time with my son. It's life changing. You realize the important things in life. You appreciate things you didn't before. My son's attitude has also changed and he's much more affectionate and thankful of his MOM. Priceless!
I know for some people the position, the salary and the vacations and luxuries are important and hooray to all of you who have that extra income in your family in order to make these things happen. But when you are doing it all alone one has to give all of that up to enjoy the most important thing in life......home, family and your kid!
Challenges are presented in your life and it's a wake up call so you can evaluate and choose the right path for you at the present time. This is for all the single parents out there trying to make ends meet and at the same time be there for your children. They do appreciate what you do for them. Once you explain to them what you had to give up for them to be happy they will change their views on a lot of things.
I used to think staying married was best for my child. How wrong I was. What's the use of having two parents in the household that can't stand each other anymore? Your child sees all of this. I stay because my child needs his father/mother. Really? Your child mocks what you do, learns from you and is molded by your actions. So if you are frequently unhappy, wake up in the morning disgusted, fight with your mate constantly and hide in the corner crying 90% of the time in one week is this a positive evaluation for your child? I think not.
"If you as parents cut corners, your children will too. If you lie, they will too. If you spend all your money on yourselves and tithe no portion of it for charities, colleges, churches, synagogues, and civic causes, your children won't either. And if parents snicker at racial and gender jokes, another generation will pass on the poison adults still have not had the courage to snuff out."
by Marian Wright Edelman
Your children see and hear everything! Think before you act on anything and stop blaming your present errors on the past and what people have done to you. You control your own destiny!
Have a wonderful day everyone and God bless!
I decided to leave it all a year ago to start my own one man show. Very, very difficult. Money doesn't come in as it used to. Bills aren't paid fast enough. Shopping doesn't exist and the luxuries are gone. But you know what? I have more time with my son. It's life changing. You realize the important things in life. You appreciate things you didn't before. My son's attitude has also changed and he's much more affectionate and thankful of his MOM. Priceless!
I know for some people the position, the salary and the vacations and luxuries are important and hooray to all of you who have that extra income in your family in order to make these things happen. But when you are doing it all alone one has to give all of that up to enjoy the most important thing in life......home, family and your kid!
Challenges are presented in your life and it's a wake up call so you can evaluate and choose the right path for you at the present time. This is for all the single parents out there trying to make ends meet and at the same time be there for your children. They do appreciate what you do for them. Once you explain to them what you had to give up for them to be happy they will change their views on a lot of things.
I used to think staying married was best for my child. How wrong I was. What's the use of having two parents in the household that can't stand each other anymore? Your child sees all of this. I stay because my child needs his father/mother. Really? Your child mocks what you do, learns from you and is molded by your actions. So if you are frequently unhappy, wake up in the morning disgusted, fight with your mate constantly and hide in the corner crying 90% of the time in one week is this a positive evaluation for your child? I think not.
"If you as parents cut corners, your children will too. If you lie, they will too. If you spend all your money on yourselves and tithe no portion of it for charities, colleges, churches, synagogues, and civic causes, your children won't either. And if parents snicker at racial and gender jokes, another generation will pass on the poison adults still have not had the courage to snuff out."
by Marian Wright Edelman
Your children see and hear everything! Think before you act on anything and stop blaming your present errors on the past and what people have done to you. You control your own destiny!
Have a wonderful day everyone and God bless!
4.06.2011
Living and Breathing Your Culture! It's Not All About Speaking the Language
What keeps you tied to your culture?
I had a friend come up to me once suggesting that I wasn't a "TRUE" Puerto Rican because I only visited Puerto Rico twice in my life. How my Spanish was a bit American sounding. What? I'm appalled each and every time I'm surrounded by such ignorance. I live and breathe my culture every day. I cook my Puerto Rican dishes, attend events that represent Latinos in the industry, proudly tell everyone that I'm U.S. Born and that my parents are from Puerto Rico and I go to a Salsa club every now and then to dance my music. I don't go to the Parades every year but I watch it on TV with my son in the comfort of my living room. If our parents are Puerto Rican, Cuban, Peruvian or what have you then we are 100% that culture in my view. Do not be naive! I bet if you tried my dishes you would think twice about suggesting that I'm not a "TRUE" Puerto Rican. You're right? When you speak Spanish you are a natural but if I ask you to make an arroz con pollo will you be able to? What if I told you that you were not a "TRUE" Puerto Rican because you don't know how to make a simple dish such as an arroz con pollo? Here is the recipe just in case:
http://www.mylatinovoice.com/recipes/2760-classic-arroz-con-pollo-a-la-sandra.html
Ironically, when I was a little girl I used to hate my mother's cooking. I don't remember a time eating at the dinner table together with my family when I was younger. We ate at separate times. My mother would cook early for my Dad and he would eat at 2pm and then we would eat dinner around 6pm. I always thought my mothers food was dry, hated Spanish yellow rice, the stews and couldn't stand the smell of pasteles. Now? I can't live without these dishes in my life. Cooking is my life! I wanted my son to appreciate the culture through food, music,events and special family moments during the Holidays.
I don't like to be called a Nuyorican. I'm a Puerto Rican. You can read all the books you want about Puerto Rico but it's actually living and breathing it that makes the culture come alive in you. And yes! My son and I eat dinner at the same time every day and he loves the dishes. We are proud of our Spanglish because it identifies us as Puerto Ricans who were born here in the US. So condemn me all you want you language purists! I'm proud of the way I live and breath my culture. I live here in the US so I have to represent who I am; an educated, acculturated woman who will always love to cook her Puerto Rican dishes. This is what keeps me tied to my culture! What keeps you tied to yours?
Do you want to learn more about Puerto Rico? Below is a link I would like to share:
http://www.everyculture.com/No-Sa/Puerto-Rico.html
This is real talk! Please share your views!
I had a friend come up to me once suggesting that I wasn't a "TRUE" Puerto Rican because I only visited Puerto Rico twice in my life. How my Spanish was a bit American sounding. What? I'm appalled each and every time I'm surrounded by such ignorance. I live and breathe my culture every day. I cook my Puerto Rican dishes, attend events that represent Latinos in the industry, proudly tell everyone that I'm U.S. Born and that my parents are from Puerto Rico and I go to a Salsa club every now and then to dance my music. I don't go to the Parades every year but I watch it on TV with my son in the comfort of my living room. If our parents are Puerto Rican, Cuban, Peruvian or what have you then we are 100% that culture in my view. Do not be naive! I bet if you tried my dishes you would think twice about suggesting that I'm not a "TRUE" Puerto Rican. You're right? When you speak Spanish you are a natural but if I ask you to make an arroz con pollo will you be able to? What if I told you that you were not a "TRUE" Puerto Rican because you don't know how to make a simple dish such as an arroz con pollo? Here is the recipe just in case:
http://www.mylatinovoice.com/recipes/2760-classic-arroz-con-pollo-a-la-sandra.html
Ironically, when I was a little girl I used to hate my mother's cooking. I don't remember a time eating at the dinner table together with my family when I was younger. We ate at separate times. My mother would cook early for my Dad and he would eat at 2pm and then we would eat dinner around 6pm. I always thought my mothers food was dry, hated Spanish yellow rice, the stews and couldn't stand the smell of pasteles. Now? I can't live without these dishes in my life. Cooking is my life! I wanted my son to appreciate the culture through food, music,events and special family moments during the Holidays.
I don't like to be called a Nuyorican. I'm a Puerto Rican. You can read all the books you want about Puerto Rico but it's actually living and breathing it that makes the culture come alive in you. And yes! My son and I eat dinner at the same time every day and he loves the dishes. We are proud of our Spanglish because it identifies us as Puerto Ricans who were born here in the US. So condemn me all you want you language purists! I'm proud of the way I live and breath my culture. I live here in the US so I have to represent who I am; an educated, acculturated woman who will always love to cook her Puerto Rican dishes. This is what keeps me tied to my culture! What keeps you tied to yours?
Do you want to learn more about Puerto Rico? Below is a link I would like to share:
http://www.everyculture.com/No-Sa/Puerto-Rico.html
This is real talk! Please share your views!
4.05.2011
"I'll Have What He's Having"! Should We Change Our Beliefs for Our Mate?
Last night I was thinking about relationships, marriages and people in general and what they do to stay happy and content. A friend of mine is getting married soon. I've known my girlfriend for quite some time when she was single and now that she's with her boyfriend I find her very different. We used to talk about politics (she was democrat), our careers, goals and just have general discussions. I asked her "Are you going to vote for Obama again"? Come to find out all of a sudden she's Republican because her boyfriend (soon to be husband) is Republican. What? I asked her "Do you know the difference"? She paused. She didn't know what to say? I almost felt bad for her because I put her in a very embarassing and awkward position. At the same time I was frustrated because I wanted her to explain to me in simple terms why she changed parties.
Do people really know the difference between a Democrat and a Republican?
Do people really know the difference between a Democrat and a Republican?
4.04.2011
Literature - A Powerful Vehicle for Our Children..."Snooki"?
Everyone by now must have heard the controversy regarding Rutgers University student committee paying $32,000 for "Nicole Polizzi AKA "Snooki" to give a speech on campus, $2000 more than Toni Morrison. Toni Morrison born Chloe Anthony Wofford made her debut as a novelist in 1970, soon gaining the attention of both critics and a wider audience for her epic power, unerring ear for dialogue, and her poetically-charged and richly-expressive depictions of Black America. Please read more about her biography below:
http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/1993/morrison-bio.html
I could not believe what I was hearing at first. I remember I had to read several of her novels back in college. It was a prerequisite in my English Literature courses. In 1993, Toni Morrison received the Nobel Prize in Literature. She was the eigth woman and the first black woman to do so. "Snooki" worth more than Toni? I'm appalled and ashamed that a University would allow and approve this. I know they are trying to defend their decision but I'm sorry I really don't want to hear it. One parent said it best "It's disgusting". "Snooki"? who was charged once for "disturing the peace" and was sentenced to do community service and was asked to pay a fine of $500? Do I really want to hear anything that she has to say let alone listen to a speech from her? How sad for a group of students to think that having "Snooki" on their campus is a positive thing. I guess having a Nobel Prize winner is not enough. Whatever "Snooki" has to say must be more important? I would really love to see her speech on YouTube. I can't wait.
Let's just go back to the importance of Literature for our children. The impressions and messages contained in the novels that we read by authors such as Toni Morrison truly does last a lifetime. We should buy more books for our children about people of color, people who are gay and lesbian or people with physical and mental disabilities. Maybe we will have less of the bullying and more communities that support each other. We as parents have the responsibility to make sure this is available to them. I'm afraid the problem is some parents are racist, sexist and anti-gay and are teaching their kids the same behaviors. That's why teachers and professors are second in line to teach our children and educate them about tolerance.
The only thing I could find about "Snooki" that she can actually speak about and give advice on would be about eating disorders and how she suffered from it in High School. Other than that I give her a thumbs down for everything else. I say if you ever have the chance to become a celebrity take advantage and pursue something positive, give back and above all be an inspiration to those younger than you.
I'm sharing an article I read below that speaks about the importance of Literature.
http://www.life123.com/parenting/education/children-reading/importance-of-literature.shtml
I look forward to your feedback.
http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/1993/morrison-bio.html
I could not believe what I was hearing at first. I remember I had to read several of her novels back in college. It was a prerequisite in my English Literature courses. In 1993, Toni Morrison received the Nobel Prize in Literature. She was the eigth woman and the first black woman to do so. "Snooki" worth more than Toni? I'm appalled and ashamed that a University would allow and approve this. I know they are trying to defend their decision but I'm sorry I really don't want to hear it. One parent said it best "It's disgusting". "Snooki"? who was charged once for "disturing the peace" and was sentenced to do community service and was asked to pay a fine of $500? Do I really want to hear anything that she has to say let alone listen to a speech from her? How sad for a group of students to think that having "Snooki" on their campus is a positive thing. I guess having a Nobel Prize winner is not enough. Whatever "Snooki" has to say must be more important? I would really love to see her speech on YouTube. I can't wait.
Let's just go back to the importance of Literature for our children. The impressions and messages contained in the novels that we read by authors such as Toni Morrison truly does last a lifetime. We should buy more books for our children about people of color, people who are gay and lesbian or people with physical and mental disabilities. Maybe we will have less of the bullying and more communities that support each other. We as parents have the responsibility to make sure this is available to them. I'm afraid the problem is some parents are racist, sexist and anti-gay and are teaching their kids the same behaviors. That's why teachers and professors are second in line to teach our children and educate them about tolerance.
The only thing I could find about "Snooki" that she can actually speak about and give advice on would be about eating disorders and how she suffered from it in High School. Other than that I give her a thumbs down for everything else. I say if you ever have the chance to become a celebrity take advantage and pursue something positive, give back and above all be an inspiration to those younger than you.
I'm sharing an article I read below that speaks about the importance of Literature.
http://www.life123.com/parenting/education/children-reading/importance-of-literature.shtml
I look forward to your feedback.
4.01.2011
Your Career - Choosing the Right Company That Fits Your Needs
"Choosing the wrong job or the wrong company will certainly have adverse consequences and will affect every aspect of your life including your health and your happiness, as well as your family, work and social life." This quote taken from http://www.helpwithjobs.co.uk/finding-a-job/how-to-choose-the-right-company.php
This statement cannot be more accurate. I'm a 34 year old single mom who started a small rep firm back in September of 2010. Why did I decide to do this during a tough economy? I decided to do this because I wanted to be in charge of my own destiny instead of working for a group of people or company that were going to run my life and decide for me who I would represent and how to go about my work. When your boss is younger, and has different experience than you, not willing to hear what you have to say and doesn't understand your expertise I personally feel you've made the wrong choice. That's not to say that someone who is younger than you is not more knowledgeable. I just think that situation can hinder your career growth a bit because ultimately your boss will never understand you as a person. I know this because I've been in several situations such as this and let's just say we never saw eye to eye.
Choosing a company out of desperation because of your finances at home is the worst mistake you can make in your career. In the same way a company looks for an employee who is the right fit for them we must also interview the interviewee. I cannot stress this enough. My main questions that relate to me personally would be:
1) Would you have a problem with me leaving at 5pm 3 days a week in order for me to pick up my son from School at 6pm?
2) What type of insurance does the company offer and will I have to pay an additional fee a month for my son?
3) Will I have to travel and what percentage of my job will require me to do so?
4) Is there room for growth given my experience?
All these questions are so important for me to ask because I am a single mom and I'm looking for a company that not only fits into my career goals but also I'm looking for a group of people that will help me personally and be understanding of my home situation. The previous company I worked for (will remain nameless) had a very young staff, had no idea of family life, gossiped all day and complained how it was not fair that I was leaving at 5pm and they were leaving at 6pm. Little did they know that I was making up my hours in the week and staying later 2 days a week to make up for the days when I had to pick up my son from school. Why do I have to explain myself? All this affected me very much and I wasn't a happy camper when I got home. I was stressed and unhappy. My stomach was constantly upset and I found myself going to the doctor frequently. Sometimes I would even take my stress out on my son who is only 8. I eventually had to leave the company.
In leaving the company I decided to take charge of my life and take my experiences and start my own small firm; Ventas Media. Now I get to decide who I work for and instead of a company keeping most of my commission for all of my hard work I get to keep all of my earnings. Yes it's tough but I work from home, take my son to school in the morning, have my coffee in a relaxed environment, write my blog (hehe!) and pick up my son from school at the end of the day with no worries of rolling eyes or immature gossip. This is another quote from the site above:
"If you are uncomfortable on your visit, you just don't like the person carrying out the interview (your potential boss) or you have a niggling feeling that something is not quite right, then you should probably listen to your intuition and decline any offer of work."
I had a conversation yesterday with my cousin Diana and she told me that my niece Beatrice didn't get a call back from a retail store after going on an interview. She shared with me her disappointment. I have a few words for her. There are more fish in the sea. If they didn't realize what a wonderful asset you were than they don't deserve your wonderful presence and value in their store.
This statement cannot be more accurate. I'm a 34 year old single mom who started a small rep firm back in September of 2010. Why did I decide to do this during a tough economy? I decided to do this because I wanted to be in charge of my own destiny instead of working for a group of people or company that were going to run my life and decide for me who I would represent and how to go about my work. When your boss is younger, and has different experience than you, not willing to hear what you have to say and doesn't understand your expertise I personally feel you've made the wrong choice. That's not to say that someone who is younger than you is not more knowledgeable. I just think that situation can hinder your career growth a bit because ultimately your boss will never understand you as a person. I know this because I've been in several situations such as this and let's just say we never saw eye to eye.
Choosing a company out of desperation because of your finances at home is the worst mistake you can make in your career. In the same way a company looks for an employee who is the right fit for them we must also interview the interviewee. I cannot stress this enough. My main questions that relate to me personally would be:
1) Would you have a problem with me leaving at 5pm 3 days a week in order for me to pick up my son from School at 6pm?
2) What type of insurance does the company offer and will I have to pay an additional fee a month for my son?
3) Will I have to travel and what percentage of my job will require me to do so?
4) Is there room for growth given my experience?
All these questions are so important for me to ask because I am a single mom and I'm looking for a company that not only fits into my career goals but also I'm looking for a group of people that will help me personally and be understanding of my home situation. The previous company I worked for (will remain nameless) had a very young staff, had no idea of family life, gossiped all day and complained how it was not fair that I was leaving at 5pm and they were leaving at 6pm. Little did they know that I was making up my hours in the week and staying later 2 days a week to make up for the days when I had to pick up my son from school. Why do I have to explain myself? All this affected me very much and I wasn't a happy camper when I got home. I was stressed and unhappy. My stomach was constantly upset and I found myself going to the doctor frequently. Sometimes I would even take my stress out on my son who is only 8. I eventually had to leave the company.
In leaving the company I decided to take charge of my life and take my experiences and start my own small firm; Ventas Media. Now I get to decide who I work for and instead of a company keeping most of my commission for all of my hard work I get to keep all of my earnings. Yes it's tough but I work from home, take my son to school in the morning, have my coffee in a relaxed environment, write my blog (hehe!) and pick up my son from school at the end of the day with no worries of rolling eyes or immature gossip. This is another quote from the site above:
"If you are uncomfortable on your visit, you just don't like the person carrying out the interview (your potential boss) or you have a niggling feeling that something is not quite right, then you should probably listen to your intuition and decline any offer of work."
I had a conversation yesterday with my cousin Diana and she told me that my niece Beatrice didn't get a call back from a retail store after going on an interview. She shared with me her disappointment. I have a few words for her. There are more fish in the sea. If they didn't realize what a wonderful asset you were than they don't deserve your wonderful presence and value in their store.
3.31.2011
Dress Code and Monitoring Our Kids Clothing Attire for School
Are parents monitoring their kids clothing attire for school?
I understand that children now start working as young as 14 whether it be babysitting, a grocery store or a movie theatre but that doesn't mean that you can't monitor what clothes they buy to wear to school. I know there is constant peer pressure to compete in school but our children are maturing quickly these days, especially our young girls. Granted I do not have a daughter; YET! However, I was a stepmom once and if I did have a young daughter, believe you me I will not allow her to step out of the house with clothing that is going to turn heads. Being a stepmom wasn't easy. I had to constantly observe a 15 year old girl wear daisy dukes shorts to go to the store or around the corner and tight T-shirts to go with it. Not a good look for a young girl no matter how cute you think it is. The dad. Let's just say he had no control over his kids whatsoever. I offered my opinion but ultimately could not control the situation.
If your children are not working and you are in charge of purchasing their wardrobe then you need to evaluate what you are buying and see how it looks on your kid before you actually buy. Also, what is the deal with the young boys and their pants on the floor? Please parents, this is not cute by any means or stylish. Yes, it may be that they are leaving your house dressed appropriately but something tells me that you know very well what is happening. Please comment! I may be wrong. I'm a parent so I have every right to start this discussion but I know many people who are not parents yet who will not accept a certain dress code for their child. It is your problem and our children, especially girls, need to monitored on all levels. Why do some parents feel like they have to cater to their childs every need. I saw the other day a mother buying her daughter a pair of thongs. Yes! a pair of thongs just because SHE wanted them. What did she do? She bought them in 3 different colors for her. The girl may have been about 13 or 14. I just had to walk away. Are parents so enveloped in their own lives that they don't SEE a problem with it or even care? Or do they think that it's just innocent, stylish wear? Let's look at the clothes on them before we buy them. I came across this really cool virtual wardrobe site. Check it out and please comment!
http://www.ukhairdressers.com/wardrobe2/index.asp
I understand that children now start working as young as 14 whether it be babysitting, a grocery store or a movie theatre but that doesn't mean that you can't monitor what clothes they buy to wear to school. I know there is constant peer pressure to compete in school but our children are maturing quickly these days, especially our young girls. Granted I do not have a daughter; YET! However, I was a stepmom once and if I did have a young daughter, believe you me I will not allow her to step out of the house with clothing that is going to turn heads. Being a stepmom wasn't easy. I had to constantly observe a 15 year old girl wear daisy dukes shorts to go to the store or around the corner and tight T-shirts to go with it. Not a good look for a young girl no matter how cute you think it is. The dad. Let's just say he had no control over his kids whatsoever. I offered my opinion but ultimately could not control the situation.
If your children are not working and you are in charge of purchasing their wardrobe then you need to evaluate what you are buying and see how it looks on your kid before you actually buy. Also, what is the deal with the young boys and their pants on the floor? Please parents, this is not cute by any means or stylish. Yes, it may be that they are leaving your house dressed appropriately but something tells me that you know very well what is happening. Please comment! I may be wrong. I'm a parent so I have every right to start this discussion but I know many people who are not parents yet who will not accept a certain dress code for their child. It is your problem and our children, especially girls, need to monitored on all levels. Why do some parents feel like they have to cater to their childs every need. I saw the other day a mother buying her daughter a pair of thongs. Yes! a pair of thongs just because SHE wanted them. What did she do? She bought them in 3 different colors for her. The girl may have been about 13 or 14. I just had to walk away. Are parents so enveloped in their own lives that they don't SEE a problem with it or even care? Or do they think that it's just innocent, stylish wear? Let's look at the clothes on them before we buy them. I came across this really cool virtual wardrobe site. Check it out and please comment!
http://www.ukhairdressers.com/wardrobe2/index.asp
3.30.2011
Should You Allow Your Child "Under 16" to have a Facebook Page?
What a dilemna! Your child who is only 8 comes up to you one day after school and asks you "Can I have a facebook page"? First of all what is Facebook to them right? Little did I know some of his friends in his class are on Facebook. Wait a minute! Aren't you supposed to be 18 to join facebook? I know the deal. It's happening everywhere. People are registering with fake names and lieing about their age. I start asking around and most parents are allowing this just because the child is adding only family members and friends. I believe that's where problems begin. I feel that we have a responsibility to say "NO"! Am I the only one who feels this way. I had another parent tell me "Well it's ok because she added me as her friend and I'm going to be monitoring her page, what she does, what she says, blah, blah, blah". His child was being so persistent on it that he just decided to create one for her (yes..lied for her as well) just so he can make her happy. What! How far are we as parents willing to go to make our children happy. There are boundaries and this is one of them. I recently took a poll on one site (not going to mention the site) and I was astonished by the result of the poll. 35% of the poll was for young kids to have a facebook account. There is one thing to trust your kids and express this to them but there is another thing in proving to your kid that you trust them. There are other more significant ways to express to your child that your trust them. One of them I think is letting them walk to school on their own showing them that you trust their responsibility in not talking to strangers and looking both ways before crossing the street. To have your child say to you "Why Not? You don't trust me?" is dead wrong and that reverse pyschology doesn't work with me. It has nothing to do with trusting you. It has everything to do with my responsibility as a parent in treating him as the kid he is and not the adult he wants to be. Please feel free to comment. I would love to hear your feedback. Below you will find a link to a website with this discussion.
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2011/02/25/would-you-let-your-child-get-a-facebook-page/
http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2011/02/25/would-you-let-your-child-get-a-facebook-page/
Bullying and Joining "Clicks" In School!
3/29/2011
So I enjoyed a day at the movies on Friday with my niece Beatrice (such a sweet girl) and after the movies I invited her out to eat at Applebee's (they've expanded their menu by the way and it's oh so yummy) but anyway as we were waiting for our meal to come I asked her about school. I'm a very good Titi right? :) She tells me that recently there was an episode in school where she felt she had to rat out a certain person because she couldn't face injustice and that she didn't care if the entire school found out she was a rat because she did the right thing and she couldn't understand the immaturity of kids today being forced to do the wrong thing just to stay in these so called "Clicks". I was so proud of her. Back in my day I would've been "jumped" by a group of girls for doing that. Mind you I didn't care either. Some kids think that if they tell someone of authority they will be seen as weak and will be made fun of. In reality it's the contrary. They will be seen as the hero. The one who has put a stop to injustice and they will actually have the power to stop these people from continuing the bullying to others. They will "Shout Out" these bad clicks and actually put them out of business. Kids don't know how much power they have and instead of bodyslamming the kid out of rage for the years of inhumane treatment which I saw in the news the other day PLEASE TELL SOMEONE WHAT IS GOING ON! I'm proud of my niece and her parents had a lot to do with how she chose to handle the situation. I always say parents have a responsibility in teaching and informing their kids about everything no matter how uncomfortable the topic may be for them and for their kids. You can stop bullies by:
Telling someone
Avoiding bad situations
Gaining confidence to face the person who is bullying you!
You can also just try and ignore them or tell them to stop
See school counselor
Talk to your mother
Warn teachers about it
Try figure situations out by yourself or it could become worse with other people interfering. In the cases of cyberbullying never reply.Ever! Tell someone(a teacher or parent) they will sort it out. Cyberbullying is against they law and can be tracked to the place it came from no matter what!(yes even if all messages have been deleted.
Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_can_you_stop_bullies#ixzz1I0MQA2m1
So I enjoyed a day at the movies on Friday with my niece Beatrice (such a sweet girl) and after the movies I invited her out to eat at Applebee's (they've expanded their menu by the way and it's oh so yummy) but anyway as we were waiting for our meal to come I asked her about school. I'm a very good Titi right? :) She tells me that recently there was an episode in school where she felt she had to rat out a certain person because she couldn't face injustice and that she didn't care if the entire school found out she was a rat because she did the right thing and she couldn't understand the immaturity of kids today being forced to do the wrong thing just to stay in these so called "Clicks". I was so proud of her. Back in my day I would've been "jumped" by a group of girls for doing that. Mind you I didn't care either. Some kids think that if they tell someone of authority they will be seen as weak and will be made fun of. In reality it's the contrary. They will be seen as the hero. The one who has put a stop to injustice and they will actually have the power to stop these people from continuing the bullying to others. They will "Shout Out" these bad clicks and actually put them out of business. Kids don't know how much power they have and instead of bodyslamming the kid out of rage for the years of inhumane treatment which I saw in the news the other day PLEASE TELL SOMEONE WHAT IS GOING ON! I'm proud of my niece and her parents had a lot to do with how she chose to handle the situation. I always say parents have a responsibility in teaching and informing their kids about everything no matter how uncomfortable the topic may be for them and for their kids. You can stop bullies by:
Telling someone
Avoiding bad situations
Gaining confidence to face the person who is bullying you!
You can also just try and ignore them or tell them to stop
See school counselor
Talk to your mother
Warn teachers about it
Try figure situations out by yourself or it could become worse with other people interfering. In the cases of cyberbullying never reply.Ever! Tell someone(a teacher or parent) they will sort it out. Cyberbullying is against they law and can be tracked to the place it came from no matter what!(yes even if all messages have been deleted.
Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_can_you_stop_bullies#ixzz1I0MQA2m1
How to Get Your Child Away From The Computer to Join the Outside World
3/28/2011
How to get your child away from the computer and into the outside world?
You are a parent and you work 5 days a week at home plugged into your computer and on the phone all day leaving messages for clients who do not pick up their phones. When Saturday comes the last thing I want to do is stay home and be on my computer. So I decide to ask my son out to the park. First of all my son gets up bright and early on a Saturday and proceeds to turn on his computer to go to the site http://www.clubpenguin.com/; an ad-free, virtual world where children could play games, have fun and interact. How can I beat that right? So of course the answer to going to the park is "No Mom". Do you want to watch a movie with me? No. Hey, let's grab a pizza? He's not hungry...we have food at home anyway. I try to teach him a dance move. "Please stop Mom...you are distracting me!. What! I'm distracting him? Ok so I begin to talk to him now as an adult and tell him that's it been a while since Mom went out on a date and how he is my number 1 priority and if I ever were to go out on a date it would be with him because he is the man of the house and my number one little man. My son turned to me and said "I'm the man of the house?". We can go out on a date? I said yes that moms and their boys go out on dates all the time. "Just me and you?" he says. Yep.....I said "Just me and you my love". So that night we went out for sushi (his favorite) and we called it "A Date". How proud was he telling his friends Monday morning that he went out on a date with his Mom and that I called him the man of the house. I noticed that my son was growing up and as long as I treated him like a little adult rather than a little boy his reaction was different. I have to translate a day at the park as a date at the park. We have been going out on "dates" ever since. Never knew that language was so important to a little kid and that it makes all the difference when you phrase things a certain way to your child. He is my best friend now. "Never dictate your child in front of guests. Treat him or her as an adult. The child is an individual and you should help him/her develop their own individuality,” said Shobha Mathur, a Delhi-based expert, while warning parents against scolding their children in front of strangers...She said: “Each child varies from the other on the basis of the proportion of intelligence levels.”
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/treat-your-child-as-an-adult/392247/. It worked for me and I hope it works for you. Take your child on a date today.
How to get your child away from the computer and into the outside world?
You are a parent and you work 5 days a week at home plugged into your computer and on the phone all day leaving messages for clients who do not pick up their phones. When Saturday comes the last thing I want to do is stay home and be on my computer. So I decide to ask my son out to the park. First of all my son gets up bright and early on a Saturday and proceeds to turn on his computer to go to the site http://www.clubpenguin.com/; an ad-free, virtual world where children could play games, have fun and interact. How can I beat that right? So of course the answer to going to the park is "No Mom". Do you want to watch a movie with me? No. Hey, let's grab a pizza? He's not hungry...we have food at home anyway. I try to teach him a dance move. "Please stop Mom...you are distracting me!. What! I'm distracting him? Ok so I begin to talk to him now as an adult and tell him that's it been a while since Mom went out on a date and how he is my number 1 priority and if I ever were to go out on a date it would be with him because he is the man of the house and my number one little man. My son turned to me and said "I'm the man of the house?". We can go out on a date? I said yes that moms and their boys go out on dates all the time. "Just me and you?" he says. Yep.....I said "Just me and you my love". So that night we went out for sushi (his favorite) and we called it "A Date". How proud was he telling his friends Monday morning that he went out on a date with his Mom and that I called him the man of the house. I noticed that my son was growing up and as long as I treated him like a little adult rather than a little boy his reaction was different. I have to translate a day at the park as a date at the park. We have been going out on "dates" ever since. Never knew that language was so important to a little kid and that it makes all the difference when you phrase things a certain way to your child. He is my best friend now. "Never dictate your child in front of guests. Treat him or her as an adult. The child is an individual and you should help him/her develop their own individuality,” said Shobha Mathur, a Delhi-based expert, while warning parents against scolding their children in front of strangers...She said: “Each child varies from the other on the basis of the proportion of intelligence levels.”
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/treat-your-child-as-an-adult/392247/. It worked for me and I hope it works for you. Take your child on a date today.
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