We've all heard this warning when we get on a plane and the Flight Attendant (who we all ignore BTW) is giving us instructions on what to do if ever a case of an emergency. "Put your mask on first" so that way we will be able to breathe, function and stay alert to help our children or anyone else for that matter in case the airplane were to ever drop altitude. However, I must admit everytime I hear those words I think more about life, myself and what I'm doing to function and carry on positively so that others can benefit from my stability, positive attitude and behavior. The answer is I don't think we do enough for ourselves. I didn't know that we needed to put our mask on first every single day of our lives. For some people it's easy. They go about their lives doing what makes them happy not caring about the world as if there is no tomorrow. They live selfishly, spend money they don't have, deceive and treat people badly. I'm not talking about that kind of life. I speak more of taking care of ourselves first emotionally and physically. We must do this or we will not be happy ever! I don't use the word "ever" loosely either. You can be married, have a beautiful house with kids and a dog and still be unhappy because you are merely playing a role in a very long movie.
"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask." - Jim Morrison (Thank you Alex!)
This is important! I always thought that if we give, give and give to others that the end result would be extreme happiness. It never even dawned on me that in the process of giving we had to make sure we give to ourselves as well. We come across individuals every day who take advantage of this and I've been a victim. I'm glad though because it helped me understand that giving is irrelevant and meaningless if we are not feeding and nourishing our souls first.
Nourish the soul! Do a little soul searching! Face your inmost self with courage and be determined to bring out your every ulterior thought, emotion and motive to light. Once you've done that and you see yourself for who you really are you can move forward. But you know what's the most important part in doing this. The people that took advantage of you, abused you mentally, took you for granted will not be able to ever do so again. Trust me!
Putting your mask on first means to me focusing on YOU and finding yourself. Taking time to enjoy YOU so that your kids and family can see a brighter and happier YOU. Some people go through their entire lives living according to others expectations. I'm a MOM so does that mean I can't take time for myself, leave my son with the sitter and take a long walk on the beach by myself? Am I a bad mother if I go on vacation without my son? The point is if I DON'T do these things than I WILL NOT be an effective and emotionally healthy mom for my kid. You don't have to go to a therapist for them to tell you what's wrong with you. I'm telling you what's wrong with you if you find yourself having everything and still unhappy.
I have some great books to share with you that I have read and has helped me in more ways than one. Reading the following books unleashed in me wonderful human behaviors that I've been able to use in love, my career and with my kid. It will change your life as well for the better.
1) Become a Better You - Joel Osteen
2) The Five Love Languages - Gary Chapman
3) The Five Love Languages of Children - Gary Chapman
3) The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
4) How to Win friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
5) The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell
6) Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
All this may be a little deep for some people but I write it as I see it. When I wake up with a thought or a feeling I write about it because I know there is someone out there that has experienced and is experiencing this feeling. I leave you with this quote:
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer."
~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
This is real talk!
Chat with you soon.
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