In memory of this dear 8 year old angel Leiby Kletzy, I decided to make this my topic today.
Trust no one! Some people seem to think that we can trust our own culture and community with our kids. A killer has no sense of culture or identification or even a conscience. Your next door neighbor, the person you borrow sugar from time to time, can be a killer. This little boy should not have trusted this man or even asked him for help. He should've walked up to an officer. At least this is what I taught my child to do if ever this were to happen to him. However, I'm assuming (not stating) that because he was of Jewish decent the boy felt comfortable enough to ask him for help. I understand. I will be the devils advocate for a second. I can see why this little boy trusted him. However, he was old enough to learn not to trust anyone Jewish or not. It pains me how this could've been avoided.
We want so much to believe that our community has our back. Hispanics support Hispanics! Blacks support Blacks! Jewish support Jewish! Big misconception! Disagree with me here! That's what this blog is for. Bring it on! This is real talk here! As the Latin saying goes "no tengo pelo en la lengua" which means in English "I have no hair in my tongue" so I will speak how I think and feel. Just because you live in a tightly knit community doesn't mean you're safe. In my neighborhood, I see 6 year old boys walking by themselves to the store or with their 4 year sibling because there are 2 synagogues on each corner. So what! Does that mean they are safe? I don't. Not with the recent molester that was walking around these parts 2 weeks ago. I even see them at 10pm at night walking around by themselves. I praise independence but really?
I hate when change occurs after a devastating event. Caylee's law might be put into affect soon but this darling angel had to be murdered first so that parents can be held accountable and be charged a second degree crime if they don't report their child missing within 24 hours. Really? This should've been a law a long time ago. Now she may get a book deal. I just don't comprehend this phenomenon.
Listen! Make sure your child knows how to scream "FIRE" or "RAPE" when under distress. Make them learn your telephone number by heart. Teach them to run for their lives to an officer if approached by ANY stranger. Stranger meaning someone you have never seen in your life. Cannot be based on culture. You hear me! Your kids should not base the significance of "STRANGER" having to do with culture. I know all of you understand. "He's Hispanic so I can trust him" or "Oh..he's Jewish so I can trust him." NO! Parents wake up!
YOUR BEST FRIEND CAN BE A MURDERER!
This can turn into a very controversial subject I know. It's just another murder of a child. This shouldn't turn into a culture thing or a community thing I know. However, I want to discuss facts here. I want to throw this discussion out there because I want my feelings to be heard and I have the forum for it. This event affects everyone with kids and it hits home hard.
I would love to hear your comments. Please agree or disagree I don't care. The point is our kids will be much safer if we understand the simple concept of "TRUST NO ONE". Not even your own kind!
This is real talk!
"Shema" Prayer for Children at Bedtime:
V'a-hav-ta eit A-do-nai E-lo-he-cha, B'chawl l'va-v'cha, u-v'chawl naf-sh'cha, u-v'chawl m'o-de-cha. V'ha-yu ha-d'va-rim ha-ei-leh, A-sher a-no-chi m'tsa-v'cha ha-yom, al l'va-ve-cha. V'shi-nan-tam l'-va-ne-cha, v'di-bar-ta bam, b'shiv-t'cha b'vei-te-cha, uv-lech-t'cha va-de-rech,u-v'shawch-b'cha uv-ku-me-cha. Uk-shar-tam l'ot al ya-de-cha, v'ha-yu l'to-ta-fot bein ei-ne-cha. Uch-tav-tam, al m'zu-zot bei-te-cha, u-vish-a-re-cha.
God bless you little one!
7.13.2011
Put Your Mask On First! Go Find Yourself!
We've all heard this warning when we get on a plane and the Flight Attendant (who we all ignore BTW) is giving us instructions on what to do if ever a case of an emergency. "Put your mask on first" so that way we will be able to breathe, function and stay alert to help our children or anyone else for that matter in case the airplane were to ever drop altitude. However, I must admit everytime I hear those words I think more about life, myself and what I'm doing to function and carry on positively so that others can benefit from my stability, positive attitude and behavior. The answer is I don't think we do enough for ourselves. I didn't know that we needed to put our mask on first every single day of our lives. For some people it's easy. They go about their lives doing what makes them happy not caring about the world as if there is no tomorrow. They live selfishly, spend money they don't have, deceive and treat people badly. I'm not talking about that kind of life. I speak more of taking care of ourselves first emotionally and physically. We must do this or we will not be happy ever! I don't use the word "ever" loosely either. You can be married, have a beautiful house with kids and a dog and still be unhappy because you are merely playing a role in a very long movie.
"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask." - Jim Morrison (Thank you Alex!)
This is important! I always thought that if we give, give and give to others that the end result would be extreme happiness. It never even dawned on me that in the process of giving we had to make sure we give to ourselves as well. We come across individuals every day who take advantage of this and I've been a victim. I'm glad though because it helped me understand that giving is irrelevant and meaningless if we are not feeding and nourishing our souls first.
Nourish the soul! Do a little soul searching! Face your inmost self with courage and be determined to bring out your every ulterior thought, emotion and motive to light. Once you've done that and you see yourself for who you really are you can move forward. But you know what's the most important part in doing this. The people that took advantage of you, abused you mentally, took you for granted will not be able to ever do so again. Trust me!
Putting your mask on first means to me focusing on YOU and finding yourself. Taking time to enjoy YOU so that your kids and family can see a brighter and happier YOU. Some people go through their entire lives living according to others expectations. I'm a MOM so does that mean I can't take time for myself, leave my son with the sitter and take a long walk on the beach by myself? Am I a bad mother if I go on vacation without my son? The point is if I DON'T do these things than I WILL NOT be an effective and emotionally healthy mom for my kid. You don't have to go to a therapist for them to tell you what's wrong with you. I'm telling you what's wrong with you if you find yourself having everything and still unhappy.
I have some great books to share with you that I have read and has helped me in more ways than one. Reading the following books unleashed in me wonderful human behaviors that I've been able to use in love, my career and with my kid. It will change your life as well for the better.
1) Become a Better You - Joel Osteen
2) The Five Love Languages - Gary Chapman
3) The Five Love Languages of Children - Gary Chapman
3) The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
4) How to Win friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
5) The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell
6) Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
All this may be a little deep for some people but I write it as I see it. When I wake up with a thought or a feeling I write about it because I know there is someone out there that has experienced and is experiencing this feeling. I leave you with this quote:
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer."
~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
This is real talk!
Chat with you soon.
"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask." - Jim Morrison (Thank you Alex!)
This is important! I always thought that if we give, give and give to others that the end result would be extreme happiness. It never even dawned on me that in the process of giving we had to make sure we give to ourselves as well. We come across individuals every day who take advantage of this and I've been a victim. I'm glad though because it helped me understand that giving is irrelevant and meaningless if we are not feeding and nourishing our souls first.
Nourish the soul! Do a little soul searching! Face your inmost self with courage and be determined to bring out your every ulterior thought, emotion and motive to light. Once you've done that and you see yourself for who you really are you can move forward. But you know what's the most important part in doing this. The people that took advantage of you, abused you mentally, took you for granted will not be able to ever do so again. Trust me!
Putting your mask on first means to me focusing on YOU and finding yourself. Taking time to enjoy YOU so that your kids and family can see a brighter and happier YOU. Some people go through their entire lives living according to others expectations. I'm a MOM so does that mean I can't take time for myself, leave my son with the sitter and take a long walk on the beach by myself? Am I a bad mother if I go on vacation without my son? The point is if I DON'T do these things than I WILL NOT be an effective and emotionally healthy mom for my kid. You don't have to go to a therapist for them to tell you what's wrong with you. I'm telling you what's wrong with you if you find yourself having everything and still unhappy.
I have some great books to share with you that I have read and has helped me in more ways than one. Reading the following books unleashed in me wonderful human behaviors that I've been able to use in love, my career and with my kid. It will change your life as well for the better.
1) Become a Better You - Joel Osteen
2) The Five Love Languages - Gary Chapman
3) The Five Love Languages of Children - Gary Chapman
3) The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
4) How to Win friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
5) The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell
6) Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
All this may be a little deep for some people but I write it as I see it. When I wake up with a thought or a feeling I write about it because I know there is someone out there that has experienced and is experiencing this feeling. I leave you with this quote:
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer."
~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
This is real talk!
Chat with you soon.
7.01.2011
Live Beat Dads! Some Moms Should be Ashamed!
For the past two weeks I've been questioning many of my male friends about being single, their children, life, etc. All of them had one thing in common; not enough time with their children. I've had my own drama in the past with my ex-husband and his children so of course I was intrigued. They are all very good men with good jobs and all they want to do is spend time with their children. However, what is stopping them from doing so? The ex! That's right! Some women should be ashamed of themselves because what happens between you and your ex should stay that way. Women have been using their children as chess pieces in order to get back at their ex. Shame on you! Women have been saying time and time again how there are dead beat Dads out there and when men finally step up to claim their status as father the scorn of some women do not allow this to happen.
Why do women use their children and make them suffer not allowing them to see DAD on a regular basis? What you don't realize is that you are distroying your children pychologically by allowing them to think that DAD does not want to be there. You are lying to them saying that DAD doesn't love you anymore because he chose HER instead of US. If DAD really loved you he wouldn't have forgotten this or that. Granted, I know there are some dead beat Dads out there that deserve the title but not every separation that occurs in the household is a result of something he did. Nevertheless, because the courts favor the mother in most Child Custody cases it's always the man on trial. In fact, more women abuse the system now than ever before. It's mind blowing how Judges do not catch on.
There is also the case of moving the children to another state away from their father. After a divorce there is always that slight possibility of someone remarrying. I understand that you want to move on with your life but you have children now so you have to consider how far away you are moving away from your kids father. You must leave all selfishness behind and think about the long term affects of your children taking away their DAD or vice versa. But what angers me the most is when WOMEN purposely make it almost impossible for the children to have a good relationship with their Dads because of their scorn, jealousy and hatred towards their ex. Whether he was unfaithful, disrespectful, or horrible to you in the marriage or relationship is irrelevant when it comes to your kids. Your kids have nothing to do with it. What women don't realize is they will hate their Dad for what you did NOW but in the long term when they find out the truth they will hate you ALWAYS.
I used to think it was the lack of education of some people and where they lived that determined these actions. Yeah I know! I was wrong and I admit it. I find that the more educated a scorned woman is about the court system and police procedures the worse it can be for a man trying to see his kids. It's all very sad and the worst part about this, as much as you try to move on with your life after a divorce or separation and you have kids with a scorned partner it's so hard to let a great person into your life because of the drama you have in yours.
There are so many people dealing with this so if you have any comments to share I would love to hear them.
This is REAL TALK!
Why do women use their children and make them suffer not allowing them to see DAD on a regular basis? What you don't realize is that you are distroying your children pychologically by allowing them to think that DAD does not want to be there. You are lying to them saying that DAD doesn't love you anymore because he chose HER instead of US. If DAD really loved you he wouldn't have forgotten this or that. Granted, I know there are some dead beat Dads out there that deserve the title but not every separation that occurs in the household is a result of something he did. Nevertheless, because the courts favor the mother in most Child Custody cases it's always the man on trial. In fact, more women abuse the system now than ever before. It's mind blowing how Judges do not catch on.
There is also the case of moving the children to another state away from their father. After a divorce there is always that slight possibility of someone remarrying. I understand that you want to move on with your life but you have children now so you have to consider how far away you are moving away from your kids father. You must leave all selfishness behind and think about the long term affects of your children taking away their DAD or vice versa. But what angers me the most is when WOMEN purposely make it almost impossible for the children to have a good relationship with their Dads because of their scorn, jealousy and hatred towards their ex. Whether he was unfaithful, disrespectful, or horrible to you in the marriage or relationship is irrelevant when it comes to your kids. Your kids have nothing to do with it. What women don't realize is they will hate their Dad for what you did NOW but in the long term when they find out the truth they will hate you ALWAYS.
I used to think it was the lack of education of some people and where they lived that determined these actions. Yeah I know! I was wrong and I admit it. I find that the more educated a scorned woman is about the court system and police procedures the worse it can be for a man trying to see his kids. It's all very sad and the worst part about this, as much as you try to move on with your life after a divorce or separation and you have kids with a scorned partner it's so hard to let a great person into your life because of the drama you have in yours.
There are so many people dealing with this so if you have any comments to share I would love to hear them.
This is REAL TALK!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)