Living and Breathing Your Culture! It's Not All About Speaking the Language

What keeps you tied to your culture?

I had a friend come up to me once suggesting that I wasn't a "TRUE" Puerto Rican because I only visited Puerto Rico twice in my life. How my Spanish was a bit American sounding. What? I'm appalled each and every time I'm surrounded by such ignorance. I live and breathe my culture every day. I cook my Puerto Rican dishes, attend events that represent Latinos in the industry, proudly tell everyone that I'm U.S. Born and that my parents are from Puerto Rico and I go to a Salsa club every now and then to dance my music. I don't go to the Parades every year but I watch it on TV with my son in the comfort of my living room. If our parents are Puerto Rican, Cuban, Peruvian or what have you then we are 100% that culture in my view. Do not be naive! I bet if you tried my dishes you would think twice about suggesting that I'm not a "TRUE" Puerto Rican. You're right? When you speak Spanish you are a natural but if I ask you to make an arroz con pollo will you be able to? What if I told you that you were not a "TRUE" Puerto Rican because you don't know how to make a simple dish such as an arroz con pollo? Here is the recipe just in case:

http://www.mylatinovoice.com/recipes/2760-classic-arroz-con-pollo-a-la-sandra.html

Ironically, when I was a little girl I used to hate my mother's cooking. I don't remember a time eating at the dinner table together with my family when I was younger. We ate at separate times. My mother would cook early for my Dad and he would eat at 2pm and then we would eat dinner around 6pm. I always thought my mothers food was dry, hated Spanish yellow rice, the stews and couldn't stand the smell of pasteles. Now? I can't live without these dishes in my life. Cooking is my life! I wanted my son to appreciate the culture through food, music,events and special family moments during the Holidays.

I don't like to be called a Nuyorican. I'm a Puerto Rican. You can read all the books you want about Puerto Rico but it's actually living and breathing it that makes the culture come alive in you. And yes! My son and I eat dinner at the same time every day and he loves the dishes. We are proud of our Spanglish because it identifies us as Puerto Ricans who were born here in the US. So condemn me all you want you language purists! I'm proud of the way I live and breath my culture. I live here in the US so I have to represent who I am; an educated, acculturated woman who will always love to cook her Puerto Rican dishes. This is what keeps me tied to my culture! What keeps you tied to yours?

Do you want to learn more about Puerto Rico? Below is a link I would like to share:

http://www.everyculture.com/No-Sa/Puerto-Rico.html

This is real talk! Please share your views!

"I'll Have What He's Having"! Should We Change Our Beliefs for Our Mate?

Last night I was thinking about relationships, marriages and people in general and what they do to stay happy and content. A friend of mine is getting married soon. I've known my girlfriend for quite some time when she was single and now that she's with her boyfriend I find her very different. We used to talk about politics (she was democrat), our careers, goals and just have general discussions. I asked her "Are you going to vote for Obama again"? Come to find out all of a sudden she's Republican because her boyfriend (soon to be husband) is Republican. What? I asked her "Do you know the difference"? She paused. She didn't know what to say? I almost felt bad for her because I put her in a very embarassing and awkward position. At the same time I was frustrated because I wanted her to explain to me in simple terms why she changed parties.

Do people really know the difference between a Democrat and a Republican?

"To sum it up, Democrats lean toward equality under a large federal government. Republicans lean towards people looking after themselves and their neighbors under small federal government and strong state governments"

Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_difference_between_Republicans_and_Democrats#ixzz1IeOIdHKs

Would you change the way you feel and what you believe in just to be with your mate? I guess this goes on in many relationships? I never experienced this. I've been in long term relationships and never had to change my beliefs for my mate. I surely wouldn't vote Republican for my husband believing in Democracy. Even if I win the lottery tomorrow and suddenly become a millionaire I will still believe in Democracy. Being autonomous is the most healthy way to be and live. I can't live any other way. Does love threaten this? Below is a great article on this subject:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201005/does-love-threaten-autonomy

Going back to changing who you are. I recently had to evaluate my friends and who they were as people. You see some people age and they change for the better. However, there are just some people who age and they change for the worse and the sad part is they don't realize it.  A friend of mine is currently living with her boyfriend and he is a bit older than her; distinguished professional. I've known my friend for quite some time and when I met her she was fun, playful, fashionable and genuine. You would think that with age she would become a better version of this. No. Now I find her critical, less fashionable, a "Debbie Downer" and miserly. Is it because she's dating this older distinguised gentleman and has developed some of his characteristics? A wolf in sheep's clothing? Whatever it is I just do not have the time or patience to deal with it.

In brief, we have to value ourselves and our beliefs. You have to change for yourself and not for anyone else. If you want a steak and he wants you to have the salad go for that steak! If she wants you to go bald but you like your hair grow more hair! I understand that we want to make our partners happy. I've done it many of times changing simple things that ultimately made me grow as a person. I'm more humble and find a lot of my friends now to be much older than me. I also find that women who have careers and jobs that they love are more positive to be around because they have something they call their own at the end of the day. But that's a completely different topic all together.

This is real talk and I'm looking forward to your comments.

Literature - A Powerful Vehicle for Our Children..."Snooki"?

Everyone by now must have heard the controversy regarding Rutgers University student committee paying $32,000 for "Nicole Polizzi AKA "Snooki" to give a speech on campus, $2000 more than Toni Morrison. Toni Morrison born Chloe Anthony Wofford made her debut as a novelist in 1970, soon gaining the attention of both critics and a wider audience for her epic power, unerring ear for dialogue, and her poetically-charged and richly-expressive depictions of Black America. Please read more about her biography below:

http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/1993/morrison-bio.html

I could not believe what I was hearing at first. I remember I had to read several of her novels back in college. It was a prerequisite in my English Literature courses. In 1993, Toni Morrison received the Nobel Prize in Literature. She was the eigth woman and the first black woman to do so. "Snooki" worth more than Toni? I'm appalled and ashamed that a University would allow and approve this. I know they are trying to defend their decision but I'm sorry I really don't want to hear it. One parent said it best "It's disgusting". "Snooki"? who was charged once for "disturing the peace" and was sentenced to do community service and was asked to pay a fine of $500? Do I really want to hear anything that she has to say let alone listen to a speech from her? How sad for a group of students to think that having "Snooki" on their campus is a positive thing. I guess having a Nobel Prize winner is not enough. Whatever "Snooki" has to say must be more important? I would really love to see her speech on YouTube. I can't wait.

Let's just go back to the importance of Literature for our children. The impressions and messages contained in the novels that we read by authors such as Toni Morrison truly does last a lifetime. We should buy more books for our children about people of color, people who are gay and lesbian or people with physical and mental disabilities. Maybe we will have less of the bullying and more communities that support each other. We as parents have the responsibility to make sure this is available to them. I'm afraid the problem is some parents are racist, sexist and anti-gay and are teaching their kids the same behaviors. That's why teachers and professors are second in line to teach our children and educate them about tolerance.

The only thing I could find about "Snooki" that she can actually speak about and give advice on would be about eating disorders and how she suffered from it in High School. Other than that I give her a thumbs down for everything else. I say if you ever have the chance to become a celebrity take advantage and pursue something positive, give back and above all be an inspiration to those younger than you.

I'm sharing an article I read below that speaks about the importance of Literature.

http://www.life123.com/parenting/education/children-reading/importance-of-literature.shtml

I look forward to your feedback.

Your Career - Choosing the Right Company That Fits Your Needs

"Choosing the wrong job or the wrong company will certainly have adverse consequences and will affect every aspect of your life including your health and your happiness, as well as your family, work and social life." This quote taken from http://www.helpwithjobs.co.uk/finding-a-job/how-to-choose-the-right-company.php

This statement cannot be more accurate. I'm a 34 year old single mom who started a small rep firm back in September of 2010. Why did I decide to do this during a tough economy? I decided to do this because I wanted to be in charge of my own destiny instead of working for a group of people or company that were going to run my life and decide for me who I would represent and how to go about my work. When your boss is younger, and has different experience than you, not willing to hear what you have to say and doesn't understand your expertise I personally feel you've made the wrong choice. That's not to say that someone who is younger than you is not more knowledgeable. I just think that situation can hinder your career growth a bit because ultimately your boss will never understand you as a person. I know this because I've been in several situations such as this and let's just say we never saw eye to eye.

Choosing a company out of desperation because of your finances at home is the worst mistake you can make in your career. In the same way a company looks for an employee who is the right fit for them we must also interview the interviewee. I cannot stress this enough. My main questions that relate to me personally would be:

1) Would you have a problem with me leaving at 5pm 3 days a week in order for me to pick up my son from School at 6pm?

2) What type of insurance does the company offer and will I have to pay an additional fee a month for my son?

3) Will I have to travel and what percentage of my job will require me to do so?

4) Is there room for growth given my experience?

All these questions are so important for me to ask because I am a single mom and I'm looking for a company that not only fits into my career goals but also I'm looking for a group of people that will help me personally and be understanding of my home situation. The previous company I worked for (will remain nameless) had a very young staff, had no idea of family life, gossiped all day and complained how it was not fair that I was leaving at 5pm and they were leaving at 6pm. Little did they know that I was making up my hours in the week and staying later 2 days a week to make up for the days when I had to pick up my son from school. Why do I have to explain myself? All this affected me very much and I wasn't a happy camper when I got home. I was stressed and unhappy. My stomach was constantly upset and I found myself going to the doctor frequently. Sometimes I would even take my stress out on my son who is only 8. I eventually had to leave the company.

In leaving the company I decided to take charge of my life and take my experiences and start my own small firm; Ventas Media. Now I get to decide who I work for and instead of a company keeping most of my commission for all of my hard work I get to keep all of my earnings. Yes it's tough but I work from home, take my son to school in the morning, have my coffee in a relaxed environment, write my blog (hehe!) and pick up my son from school at the end of the day with no worries of rolling eyes or immature gossip. This is another quote from the site above:

"If you are uncomfortable on your visit, you just don't like the person carrying out the interview (your potential boss) or you have a niggling feeling that something is not quite right, then you should probably listen to your intuition and decline any offer of work."

I had a conversation yesterday with my cousin Diana and she told me that my niece Beatrice didn't get a call back from a retail store after going on an interview. She shared with me her disappointment. I have a few words for her. There are more fish in the sea. If they didn't realize what a wonderful asset you were than they don't deserve your wonderful presence and value in their store.